Over the Rainbow
A Story of Life, Love and Family with Bipolar Disorder

"Okay, hook her up; eight electrodes, four on the right side of the head and four on the left. Not too heavy on the glue gel. Get her IV's in and we'll start." I am lying on the operating table hearing the doctor instruct the nurses and watching all of the wires being hooked up and connected to what; I have no idea, other than mostly to my head. I could feel the burning rays of light from the ceiling pouring down on me, but that doesn't stop my body from trembling. I am petrified. The light is so bright I imagine an angel is watching over me, or perhaps just praying for one. Everyone who loves me is in the waiting room right now probably only a floor or two away, but it feels like they are so far. The drugs in my IV likely begin to penetrate my body because I could now only faintly hear the doctor as he speaks again. But, I have yet to feel any calming or sedating effects. I am still terrified. "Okay, Mallory, we're in the operating room and ready to go. I assure you honey, you're going to be just fine; just try to relax. I want you to start counting backwards from number 10." On the operating table paralyzed with fear and riddled with anxiety, I feel frigid. I get to number 8 and then...

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